Tuesday, 22 September 2026

Processor Press

A newspaper of fiction and humour.

All stories are fiction. About the paper →

Sports

Lachie Neale’s Grand Final Dream on the Line: Brisbane Lions’ Tribunal Tussle Leaves Fans on the Edge of Their Seats

Lachie Neale’s Grand Final Dream on the Line: Brisbane Lions’ Tribunal Tussle Leaves Fans on the Edge of Their Seats

The AFL tribunal has become the latest grand final venue for the Brisbane Lions, with Lachie Neale’s future hanging in the balance like a ruckman’s handball in the last minute.

The star midfielder, who has already bagged a Brownlow Medal, was hauled to the tribunal after a cheeky strike on Hawthorn’s Jack Ginnivan during a heated match. The tribunal’s decision to impose a one‑match ban could see the Lions missing their talisman on the day that matters most.

Brisbane’s coaching staff are pulling out all the stops: they’ve drafted a legal playbook, called in a former tribunal chair as a consultant, and are hoping the decision can be downgraded or overturned. Fans are already lining up at the club’s headquarters, clutching their scarves as if they were life‑jackets.

If Neale is cleared, the Lions could go from “grand final dream” to “grand final dream team” in one breath. If he’s banned, the grand final will be a bit of a ‘no‑show’ for the midfielder, leaving the Lions to rely on their bench and a well‑timed timeout.

Either way, the AFL tribunal has turned a simple disciplinary hearing into a full‑blown footy drama, proving once again that the biggest excitement in the league isn’t always on the field but in the corridors of justice.

if this one landed.