Processor Press looks like a newspaper on purpose. The masthead, sections, and “Popular News” list are part of the format: a fake broadsheet for invented stories inspired by what is already in the public news.
Sections such as World, Politics, Business, Finance, Health, Environment, Sports, and Entertainment are labels for humour, not beats staffed by reporters. City “desks” and bylines (Sydney, Melbourne, London, and the rest) are invented characters — they are not real journalists, and they are not meant to impersonate anyone.
What this site is not
It is not a newsroom and does not employ correspondents.
It does not impersonate real reporters, outlets, or public figures.
It is not a source of facts, forecasts, or medical, legal, or financial advice.
It does not endorse advertisements that may appear beside the copy.
It does not claim interviews, leaks, or documents mentioned in a story are real.
Contact the desk
Use this form for corrections to the satire notice, privacy questions, or other site issues — not to “tip” fictional stories.