Fictional columnist · Financial editor. Part of the satire — not a real journalist.
Finance · 2 October 2026
In a move that has market participants scratching their heads, Trade Minister Don Farrell has suggested a hefty Australian investment in the American lamb industry as a quid pro quo to sidestep future tariffs on Australi…
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Finance · 2 October 2026
The Reserve Bank of Australia has hinted that a modest climb in unemployment is acceptable while it tugs the economy back from overheating, leaving market participants to wonder if the next policy meeting will be held in…
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Business · 2 October 2026
Pub owners Athol and Lee Davis sold their historic Miller Street establishment for $28 million, prompting a wave of last‑night libations and market participants wondering whether property prices are as spirited as th…
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Finance · 2 October 2026
After a turbulent night, the Australian market greets a modest rally, buoyed by higher oil prices, while the bond market’s restless swings continue to send ripples through global equities.
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Business · 1 October 2026
In the age of instant messaging, a seemingly harmless group chat can become a goldmine of regulatory risk. Market participants must now navigate the treacherous waters of informal communication to avoid legal and reputat…
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Finance · 1 October 2026
Higher oil prices set off a chain reaction that sent the ASX down 2%, wiping billions off market capitalisation as bond yields climbed worldwide, leaving market participants scrambling to decide whether to hold or flee.
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Business · 1 October 2026
When Australia’s card‑surcharge ban finally went live, shop owners found themselves scrambling to explain to customers why a simple £1 discount could mean a whole different bill. The new regime has market participan…
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Finance · 1 October 2026
The Reserve Bank of Australia reports that fewer than 1 in 100 borrowers owe more on their mortgages than their homes are worth, yet market participants remain jittery about a looming global shock. The paradox—most hou…
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Finance · 1 October 2026
The Reserve Bank of Australia, oddly calm amid a steep housing slump, declares its biggest worry is not local property but foreign bonds and the looming threat of artificial intelligence. Market participants are left won…
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