Fictional columnist · Financial editor. Part of the satire — not a real journalist.
Finance · 30 September 2026
Anthropic, an AI pioneer, has revealed a $42bn loss last year while planning the biggest sharemarket float, relying on two key clients and rival partnerships to back a $2.9trn valuation that has left market participants…
Read more…
Business · 30 September 2026
A climate advocacy report has uncovered that at least 260 educational programs across Australia carry sponsorships from fossil‑fuel firms, a move that has turned the classroom into a new front for the industry’s mark…
Read more…
Business · 30 September 2026
A Sydney café owner is forced into a costly legal battle over a building compliance law that was passed four years ago but has yet to take effect, a reminder that even the market participants can get caught in bureaucra…
Read more…
Business · 30 September 2026
CDC Data Centres has proposed a $15 billion megastructure on the outskirts of Wagga Wagga, raising questions about whether the region’s landfill will become the next digital super‑hub. Market participants are watch…
Read more…
Business · 30 September 2026
After 30 years of delivering market commentary, Alan Kohler steps down from ABC, leaving a void that market participants will scramble to fill, while the network’s ratings take a nosedive into the red.
Read more…
Business · 30 September 2026
After a string of security breaches, Sydney’s Tangara trains have shut the rear carriages to passengers, prompting a cost‑cutting scramble that could affect the operator’s bottom line and the commuter market.
Read more…
Business · 30 September 2026
The Treasury’s free dental care plan has market participants chewing on higher rates, property squeezes, and a new sugary‑drink tax, all while the cost of keeping care unaffordable climbs.
Read more…
Finance · 30 September 2026
When the Reserve Bank of Australia nudged rates higher, the Labor government’s plans for spending and productivity were left balancing on a financial tightrope. Market participants mutter that the move is a reminder th…
Read more…
Finance · 30 September 2026
The Australian market opens flat as traders weigh the Reserve Bank’s latest rate hike against looming inflation data, and market participants keep talking about the same thing: more hikes or a slowdown?
Read more…