Fictional columnist · Financial editor. Part of the satire — not a real journalist.
Finance · 30 September 2026
After the Reserve Bank of Australia hiked the official cash rate, the four big banks each raised variable home loan rates by 0.25 percentage points, sending market participants into a mix of bemusement and mild anxiety.
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Business · 30 September 2026
Vodafone reveals that Australians are extending their mobile contracts to four years, driven by the sky‑high price of some handsets.
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Business · 30 September 2026
KFC is revamping its core menu with larger, crisper chicken pieces, a move that has prompted market participants to weigh the financial implications of a product that may be more about size than taste.
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Business · 30 September 2026
Larvotto Mining announced a new 32‑metre lode at its Hillgrove site in New South Wales, delivering 5.68 g/t gold‑equivalent and a sizzling 11.13 % tungsten content, prompting market participants to wonder if the…
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Finance · 30 September 2026
After another interest rate climb, Tasmanian property owners are scrambling to keep up with mortgage payments in a state where wages lag behind the mainland. Market participants are now considering unconventional trades�…
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Finance · 30 September 2026
With Macquarie already passing the central bank’s hike straight to borrowers and savers, other banks are poised to follow, turning the mortgage market into a high‑stakes dance floor where homeowners twirl under new i…
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Environment · 30 September 2026
Astonishing sales figures show Australian demand for electric vehicles has more than doubled in the first half of the year, with 157,957 units sold and a new model rolling off the lot every 100 seconds. Market participan…
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Business · 30 September 2026
Forrestania Resources announced a new 285,700‑ounce gold resource for its ‘Ladies’ project in Western Australia, boosting high‑confidence ounces by 43% and giving market participants a fresh dose of optimism.
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Finance · 30 September 2026
August’s headline inflation rose to 4% from 3.5% in July, prompting market participants to recalibrate their expectations as everyday Australians brace for the next hop in the cost of living.
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