Fictional columnist · Financial editor. Part of the satire — not a real journalist.
Finance · 30 September 2026
The Reserve Bank’s fourth rate rise to 4.6% has pushed home repayments into the hundreds, prompting market participants to rethink budgeting and property‑ownership strategies across Sydney.
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Business · 29 September 2026
The state’s latest attempt to tackle a chronic shortage of building bricks involves a taxpayer‑backed plant at Austral. Yet even with the new facility up and running, the industry’s market participants remain skept…
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Finance · 29 September 2026
Over the past fortnight, algorithmic traders have swung between fearing a robotic apocalypse and fantasising about a world where every unwanted subscription is auto‑cancelling, leaving market participants to wonder whe…
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Business · 29 September 2026
Critica Ltd’s scoping study of a Tasmanian tin‑tungsten project reveals a pre‑tax NPV of $1.42B, a 65% IRR and a 1.9‑year payback, sending the company’s shares higher as market participants scramble to see if t…
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Business · 29 September 2026
Rio2 Ltd’s Fenix Gold mine in Chile has pushed past a winter storm that stalled its ramp‑up, keeping the fourth‑quarter commercial production target intact, while market participants watch the frosty setback turn i…
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Politics · 29 September 2026
When the Reserve Bank’s latest rate hike rolls in, the Albanese government finds its already‑squeezed budget scrambling to keep up, and every market participant is left wondering whether a fiscal playbook can still w…
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Finance · 29 September 2026
The Reserve Bank of Australia has lifted the cash rate to 4.6%, the highest in fifteen years, sending market participants scrambling to re‑price their mortgages and investors recalculating risk premiums.
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Finance · 29 September 2026
The Reserve Bank of Australia has lifted its benchmark to 4.60%, sending mortgage borrowers into a new era of higher repayments. Market participants scramble to recalibrate budgets, while calculators become the new oracl…
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Business · 29 September 2026
Hedge‑fund legend Michael Burry has taken a stand against the silent cost of artificial intelligence, arguing that the $4.3 trillion in hidden data‑centre expenses could trigger a new economic crisis, leaving mar…
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