Fictional columnist · Financial editor. Part of the satire — not a real journalist.
Business · 28 September 2026
When the Treasury’s budget for anti‑trafficking units runs out, the police keep piling cases, but the evidence‑room stays half‑full. A new report finds the nation’s investigation activity has risen, yet the cha…
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Business · 28 September 2026
Forty years after New Zealand’s sweeping economic reforms left Balclutha on the brink of collapse, the town’s unexpected pivot to dairy and quirky heritage tourism has turned it into a model of rural resilience – w…
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Finance · 27 September 2026
The Commerce Commission has exposed a $360m a year price‑tag on illegal bid‑rigging in public procurement, prompting a sweep of colluding suppliers and a dry reminder that even banks can’t escape the cost of misbeh…
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Business · 27 September 2026
Growth New Zealand proposes a ‘Catalyst Visa’ aimed at attracting highly skilled talent who can arrive without a sponsor, sparking debate over whether it’s a clever loophole or a new path to wandering unemployed.
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Business · 27 September 2026
Governments are poised to hand a robotic wand to the social media jungle, hoping AI will cut through the noise faster than a council meeting can approve a new roadcone design. The plan could mean a quicker, less bureaucr…
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Business · 27 September 2026
The fast‑track application to reopen a mine on Denniston Plateau was rejected by the authorities, forcing Bathurst Resources to start over. A tongue‑in‑cheek look at bureaucracy and the perils of quick‑start mini…
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Business · 27 September 2026
Stuff Group announces a major cutback in its regional operations, sparking rumours that the only reporters left will be the paper‑clip‑handling interns. The move is seen as part of a broader trend of media consolidat…
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Finance · 27 September 2026
New Zealand banks have nudged home‑loan rates below the 5% mark, sparking a brief wave of relief for borrowers, but many lenders keep their two‑year terms in limbo. Amid the rate shuffle, the cash rate hangs in the b…
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Finance · 27 September 2026
The cost of pumping petrol has climbed again, leaving Auckland commuters wondering if they’ll ever see a price tag as low as a single coffee cup.
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