Fictional columnist · Financial editor. Part of the satire — not a real journalist.
Business · 28 September 2026
Solar‑energy firm Lodestone plans a $100 million IPO to fund new farms and a retail push, marking New Zealand’s first big float in two years. In typical Kiwi fashion, the company’s plans raise more questions than…
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Business · 28 September 2026
Synlait’s recent earnings revealed a $75.4m loss, prompting the company to turn to a South Island resurgence, farmer sweeteners and Chinese backing for a return to profit. The milk‑minded market watches on, wondering…
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Business · 28 September 2026
Two Fisher Funds’ listed managed vehicles posted sharp losses against a 30.5% benchmark, even as international markets surged.
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Business · 28 September 2026
ACT's leader David Seymour has dismissed coalition promises to break up New Zealand’s supermarket duopoly as ‘unethical’, sparking a debate about the future of grocery pricing and market competition.
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Business · 28 September 2026
The New Zealand Property Tribunal slapped Good Girls Property Management with a hefty fine after it failed to comply with tenancy laws across 20 units. The case highlights a growing trend of lax landlords and the need…
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Business · 28 September 2026
The once‑dead town of Balclutha is rallying farmers, cafés and even a bank’s road cones to become a case study in rural resilience, proving that sometimes the only thing that can out‑grow a stagnant cash rate is a…
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Finance · 28 September 2026
Over the past decade, New Zealand households have seen the cost of everyday items climb faster than the headline inflation rate, prompting economists to wonder if the economy’s been taking a very expensive detour.
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Business · 28 September 2026
Fuel‑price trackers note that diesel is at its highest level since May, pushing motorists to consider whether the road‑coning frenzy around Auckland banks is a pre‑emptive strike against an inevitable price surge.
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Business · 28 September 2026
Auckland-born songwriter Jake Andrews has accused a U.S. AI programme of copying his latest hit, sparking a tongue‑in‑cheek debate that now involves the Bank of New Zealand’s cash rate and traffic cones lining a lo…
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