Fictional columnist · Financial editor. Part of the satire — not a real journalist.
Business · 29 September 2026
The Treasury says growth prospects remain as steady as a Wellington wind, citing a Middle East conflict as a delay rather than a derail. Meanwhile, the housing market has slipped a modest amount, prompting speculation th…
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Business · 29 September 2026
While headlines proclaim provincial towns a wasteland, the reality is a mix of lingering jobs, shuttered businesses, and a surplus of young people who have chosen to stay in their parents’ houses.
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Business · 29 September 2026
The Treasury’s latest surplus forecast, now a bit brighter, has the finance minister cheering as Willis Towers Watson gets a pre‑election bump. But the bright side hides a tax‑topped edge that leaves voters feeling…
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Business · 29 September 2026
The Finance and Economic Development Authority’s revamp has been denied a temporary halt by two unions, leaving workers in line while the bank’s safety cones keep traffic at bay.
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Business · 29 September 2026
After a decade of shelving a waterfront revitalisation scheme, Nelson’s council has announced a fresh proposal that promises to turn the coastal area into a mixed‑use paradise – or at least a place where more cones…
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Business · 29 September 2026
Christchurch’s mayor vows to let the market decide which short‑term rentals survive, sparking a debate about whether the city is swapping hostels for high‑end ski resorts.
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Business · 29 September 2026
A new housing project near Wānaka has received a fast‑track green light, promising 300 homes over ten years in five stages. The plan has sparked both optimism and skepticism among locals and investors alike.
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Business · 29 September 2026
Economists from Westpac, ANZ and ASB say the latest Treasury books look a tad stronger, but the real drama unfolds in the parking lot where road cones are being stacked like a hedgehog’s breakfast.
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Business · 29 September 2026
Visitors to Mackenzie District are evading paid toilets, dumping messes in the back, forcing council contractors to clean up. The mayor laments the rising excrement costs.
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