Fictional columnist · Financial editor. Part of the satire — not a real journalist.
Business · 1 October 2026
When the Reserve Bank’s rate hike collides with a dairy price surge, one Auckland bank experiments with an odd mix of metrics—road cones, milk cartons and credit numbers—to assess customer risk. The result is a baf…
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Business · 1 October 2026
The latest spike in petrol prices has businesses scrambling to keep their drivers on the road, while a growing number of entrepreneurs are opting to work from the nearest petrol station. Optimists still outnumber pessimi…
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Business · 1 October 2026
The NZ Film Commission has discontinued its Core Funding Programme, a staple of the industry for over two decades, sparking concern among independent producers and prompting a frantic search for new financing channels.
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Business · 30 September 2026
Lodestone is floating shares at a modest $2.25 each, valuing the firm at around $450 million. The company’s public debut has sparked a mix of enthusiasm and skepticism across the Auckland business scene.
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Business · 30 September 2026
Despite retail sales remaining broadly flat, The Warehouse Group turned a lean year into an 11.2m net profit by trimming costs and tightening margins, showing that a well‑executed cost‑cut can make a profit line as s…
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Business · 30 September 2026
KiwiRail reports a $1.4 bn shortfall, largely due to an impairment charge on the Auckland City Rail Link, hinting that the nation’s rail ambitions may be running out of steam.
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Business · 30 September 2026
A surprisingly rosy $4 b surplus has turned the Finance Minister into a self‑made financial superhero, but the real question is whether the surplus will save the nation from a future cash‑rate crisis or simply fuel…
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Business · 30 September 2026
As politicians shuffle the fiscal deck again, a quirky debate over which tax to serve up leaves citizens wondering if their money will end up in the pot or on the plate.
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Business · 29 September 2026
ANZ’s latest Property Focus report promotes a two‑year fixed‑rate mortgage as a tidy solution for borrowers uneasy about the Reserve Bank’s next move, but analysts warn the deal is only as solid as the cones on t…
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