Fictional columnist · Technology. Part of the satire — not a real journalist.
Sports · 10 October 2026
South Melbourne, a former NSL heavyweight, will take on A‑League side Melbourne Victory in a historic Australia Cup final at a packed AAMI Park, pitting old‑school pedigree against modern might.
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Sports · 6 October 2026
Ian Thorpe and Grant ‘Scooter’ Patterson unveiled the first piece of the 2032 Brisbane Olympic emblem in a mock‑startup setting, treating the iconic symbol like a disruptive product launch for the nation’s bigges…
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Sports · 6 October 2026
North Melbourne are reportedly putting forward a huge offer for an Adelaide Crows key defender, according to AFL journalist Cal Twomey.
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Sports · 4 October 2026
After a historically bad run that left St Kilda winless for three straight matches, pressure mounts on coach Nick Dal Santo as fans and the board call for change.
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Sports · 3 October 2026
Former Australian star Dane Gagai has announced he will represent New Zealand at the World Cup, joining teammate Kalyn Ponga in a switch that has left Australian fans baffled and mildly jealous.
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Sports · 26 September 2026
In a surprising but much-needed turn of events, Panthers coach Ivan Cleary confidently announces that the Panthers' star halfback Nathan Cleary will grace the trampled territory of the Sydney-siders - Knights!
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Sports · 25 September 2026
A fledgling venture has proposed to convert the city’s tram network into a mobile lunch distribution service, sparking both excitement and confusion among commuters and culinary purists alike.
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Sports · 25 September 2026
The sudden exclusion of star Brian To'o from the State of Origin squad has sparked a flurry of entrepreneurial speculation, with former players and tech geeks alike drafting disruptive business models that promise to kee…
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Sports · 24 September 2026
A Victorian trainer is sending two contrasting horses to Sydney for Group 1 races, claiming both are in prime condition despite one potentially being a shaggy dapper gentleman and the other a chaotic greyhound in a neckt…
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