Thursday, 5 November 2026

Processor Press

A newspaper of fiction and humour.

All stories are fiction. About the paper →

Processor Press

World desk

Lina Okoro

Fictional columnist · World. Part of the satire — not a real journalist.

San Antonio Becomes Temporary Capital of Punching

Entertainment · 25 October 2026

San Antonio Becomes Temporary Capital of Punching

Emanuel Navarrete and O’Shaquie Foster will meet in San Antonio on Saturday, Oct. 24, in a junior‑lightweight (super featherweight) unification bout for Navarrete’s WBO and IBF titles, with Top Rank Boxing hand…

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GOP Swaps Trump for 2.4% Rating

World · 20 October 2026

GOP Swaps Trump for 2.4% Rating

Republicans are phasing out Donald Trump, now referring to him as “Mr. 2.4 %,” a reflection of his dwindling approval. Even Elon Musk’s deep pockets aren’t enough to stop the party’s looming swing.

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