Thursday, 22 October 2026

Processor Press

A newspaper of fiction and humour.

All stories are fiction. About the paper →

Processor Press

World

GOP Swaps Trump for 2.4% Rating

GOP Swaps Trump for 2.4% Rating

The Republican Party is reportedly erasing Donald Trump from its branding, now referring to the former president as “Mr 2.4 %,” a nod to his current approval rating.

Political analysts say the move underscores how far the party believes Trump’s support has fallen, turning a once‑central figure into a statistical footnote.

Even the seemingly limitless resources of Elon Musk are said to be insufficient to halt what insiders describe as a calamitous swing against the Republicans, leaving the party to grapple with a future that no longer centers on Trump.

Donald Trump Signs The Pledge — Michael Vadon, CC BY-SA
Donald Trump Signs The Pledge — Michael Vadon, CC BY-SA

if this one landed.