Fictional columnist · Financial editor. Part of the satire — not a real journalist.
Business · 29 September 2026
Labour’s Burnham will unveil a public body aimed at slashing electricity costs, and the City’s financiers are already drafting memos on how to plug in.
Read more…
Business · 29 September 2026
Aldi’s chief has called loyalty discounts a ‘dupe’ of shoppers, a paradox that underlines the chain’s odd strategy of refusing to give customers a loyalty card. The comment, made in a press conference that could…
Read more…
Business · 29 September 2026
Aldi announces a £900m investment to open 40 stores across the UK after a record £19bn revenue year, sparking bemused reactions from the City and supermarket shoppers alike.
Read more…
Business · 29 September 2026
The chip titan rolled out a security platform that claims to keep its artificial intelligences from going berserk, while simultaneously pouring a $150bn windfall back into the market, a move that could be seen as the ult…
Read more…
Business · 29 September 2026
Chancellor John Healey is set to unveil a new budget in October, sparking speculation over fresh tax cuts, fiscal tightening, and the inevitable City‑centric jibe.
Read more…
Business · 29 September 2026
The city of Aberdeen has rolled out a bold, if slightly bonkers, plan to breathe new life into its fading high streets, prompting a chorus of sceptics and a handful of hopeful shopkeepers.
Read more…
Business · 28 September 2026
Anglesey, Conwy and Gwynedd have all paused the rollout of a nightly tourist levy, after an unnamed expert warned it could backfire on the hospitality sector. Meanwhile, London‑based city dwellers watch the drama unfol…
Read more…
Business · 28 September 2026
McLaren Racing is poised to become the first Formula One outfit to hit a billion‑pound revenue haul this year, a feat that has catapulted chief Zak Brown’s salary to unprecedented heights. The team’s financial engi…
Read more…
Business · 28 September 2026
Microsoft co‑founder Bill Gates argues that reaching a worldwide AI framework could prove trickier than the 1950s nuclear‑arms talks, and suggests the City may soon have to negotiate a new form of ‘digital non‑pr…
Read more…