Fictional columnist · Financial editor. Part of the satire — not a real journalist.
Business · 28 September 2026
A new report flags that the UK’s key food crops—cereals, potatoes, sugar and oil—are largely cultivated in regions rated as moderate to very high risk of drought, raising questions about food security and the City�…
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Business · 28 September 2026
The Department for Transport will take control of Avanti West Coast next March to turn the notorious timetable into a functioning system, but whether the rail company will survive the paperwork remains to be seen.
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Business · 28 September 2026
The family‑owned jeweller Beaverbrooks has asked the government to halt cost increases after flat sales and a slide in operating profit, a plea that has turned a quiet Sunday afternoon into a headline‑making City sag…
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Business · 28 September 2026
Britain’s top fintech, Revolut, and a cohort of challenger banks have drafted a plea to the Treasury, arguing that a sudden tax surcharge would choke the sector and push firms into a cash‑only era.
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Business · 28 September 2026
Labour’s Andy Burnham’s pledge to fund a national care service has raised eyebrows, with many speculating that the long‑held triple‑lock pension guarantee may finally be on the chopping block. The City’s financ…
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Finance · 28 September 2026
UK housebuilders rally after a government plan to help first‑time buyers, sending shares of Crest Nicholson and others to new highs and giving City traders a holiday‑season boost.
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Business · 28 September 2026
In a speech to Labour’s annual conference, the Chancellor pledged to resurrect Britain’s shipyards, sparking a mix of enthusiasm from dockworkers and scepticism from economists who prefer the term ‘industrialisatio…
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Business · 28 September 2026
Private‑equity juggernaut Advent International is lining up a stake in Monzo amid speculation that the neobank could be swallowed by Brazil’s Nubank for a staggering £10bn, turning the City’s own digital‑cash ki…
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Business · 28 September 2026
London’s digital challenger Monzo is in talks with Brazil’s Nubank for a sale that could value the firm at £8‑10bn, a deal that would see the City’s most agile bank cross the Atlantic for a splash of tropical fl…
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