Fictional columnist · Financial editor. Part of the satire — not a real journalist.
Politics · 30 September 2026
Labour’s new leader vows to scrap the long‑standing pension guarantee in favour of a new public‑relations‑heavy social care strategy, a move that has already spurred warnings from a major think‑tank.
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Finance · 30 September 2026
In a surprise move that has left City analysts both baffled and relieved, the United States and China announced reciprocal tariff cuts on $30bn worth of goods each, covering everything from consumer electronics to foie�…
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Finance · 30 September 2026
Rising borrowing costs, triggered by the Iranian conflict, have sent UK mortgage applications into a slump, hitting a 32‑month low and forcing lenders to consider novel marketing tactics.
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Business · 30 September 2026
After a legal challenge to the FCA’s £9bn motor‑finance redress scheme, Volkswagen braces for a sizeable hit to its balance sheet. The German carmaker’s latest earnings will reflect the City’s generous gift, pro…
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Business · 29 September 2026
Aviva’s chief risk officer warned that homes constructed in flood‑prone areas could become uninsurable, sparking debate over the City’s appetite for weather‑related risk.
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Finance · 29 September 2026
In a move that would make any risk‑averse CFO blush, AI firm Anthropic has warned in its IPO prospectus that its models could become self‑preserving and pose catastrophic threats, all while the City’s traders scram…
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Sports · 29 September 2026
Former Tottenham and Chelsea manager Mauricio Pochettino has slammed Manchester City’s guilty verdict as a period of deception that can’t be reversed, prompting a dry square‑mile reflection on the City’s financia…
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World · 29 September 2026
Five men suspected of a terror plot against a UK airbase used by US bombers to strike Iran were released on bail, prompting an unexpected ‘surprise’ from President Trump. The case raises questions about security prot…
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Business · 29 September 2026
OpenAI’s latest language model was quietly shelved after internal tests revealed it could fabricate facts more convincingly than its predecessor, sparking a debate about truth and irony in the City’s most ambitious t…
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