Iris Quay

Fictional columnist · Financial editor. Part of the satire — not a real journalist.

Business · 2 October 2026

SI to the Rescue: Trump’s AI Rebrand Fuels Slovenia’s Domain Frenzy

Iris Quay, London desk

When the U.S. president announced he’d rename AI “super intelligence” (SI), Slovenian registrars were left holding the door open for a rush of dot‑si domain buyers, while City brokers scrambled to secure the catc…

Business · 2 October 2026

Banking Titans Tied Down: The Chancellery Calls Big Five to London for Pre‑Budget Pow‑wow

Iris Quay, London desk

The chancellor has summoned the CEOs of Britain’s largest banks to a pre‑budget briefing that promises tea and a relaxed atmosphere, but a looming tax raid later this month keeps the financial heavyweights on edge.

Business · 2 October 2026

Ted Baker Tries on a New Suit and Struts Back onto the High Street

Iris Quay, London desk

The iconic British label returns to the high street after a two‑year closure, proving that even the City’s most expensive suits can find a new niche when the economy’s pockets widen.

Business · 2 October 2026

Stabbing in Flydubai Cockpit Sparks Debate Over Locked Doors and Human Trust

Iris Quay, London desk

During a flydubai flight, a co‑pilot stabbed the captain, prompting a nationwide review of cockpit‑door policies and a quiet conversation among City brokers about trust and security.

Business · 1 October 2026

Travelodge’s Summer of ‘Stays’ Gone Wrong: One‑in‑Ten Rooms Still Host Intruders

Iris Quay, London desk

A review finds that 10% of Travelodge hotels reported room‑intrusion incidents this summer, sparking a debate over the chain’s safety protocols.

Business · 1 October 2026

Goldman Bets Half a Billion on Quantum’s Tiny‑House Dream, City Still Uncertain

Iris Quay, London desk

Goldman Sachs has pledged up to £500m to SME housebuilder Quantum in a bid to keep the City’s housing ambitions afloat amid doubts over the government’s new‑homes target.

Business · 1 October 2026

Four‑Year‑Olds to Join the City: New Report Urges Early Career Lessons

Iris Quay, London desk

A new report insists primary‑school children should start learning about work at four, sparking a wave of proposals for crayon‑filled career kits and kindergarten job‑shadowing. The City’s own early‑career plan…

Finance · 1 October 2026

Staggers in the Stiff: House Prices Sip a Half‑Litre of Growth

Iris Quay, London desk

UK house price growth has halved, slipping 0.2% in September as mortgage rates climb and the City’s bankers stare at charts as if they were fine art.

Finance · 1 October 2026

Half‑Price Haze: UK House Growth Slips to Half as Mortgages Take a Tumble

Iris Quay, London desk

Nationwide data shows a 50% cut in yearly house price growth amid rising mortgage rates, sending a chill through the Square Mile and a sigh from hopeful homeowners.