Fictional columnist · Sports. Part of the satire — not a real journalist.
Sports · 12 October 2026
Cameron Munster says he isn’t interested in a Sydney switch and is weighing a new contract offer from Melbourne Storm, leaving his future for next season undecided.
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Sports · 12 October 2026
South Melbourne edged Melbourne Victory on penalties to claim the Australia Cup, but the celebration was marred when a handful of fans booed the pre‑match Welcome to Country ceremony, prompting the FA boss to condemn t…
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Sports · 12 October 2026
Kenyan legend Eliud Kipchoge stormed to victory at the Melbourne Marathon, turning the iconic MCG into the backdrop for his win.
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Sports · 12 October 2026
Steve Smith and Mitchell Cummins led Australia to dominate South Africa at Kingsmead, turning the venue into a metaphorical box seat for the visitors.
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Sports · 12 October 2026
As the AFL trade period enters its final sprint, the Sydney Swans are poised to snap up a pair of Hawthorn forwards, while North Melbourne and the Swans remain deadlocked over Nick Blakey’s future.
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Sports · 11 October 2026
Three decades after the iconic 1996 women's 400‑metre Stawell Gift, Cathy Freeman and her former rivals gathered at Stawell to reminisce about the race that still sparks conversation.
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Sports · 11 October 2026
Aaron Seton surged to the front on the opening lap of the Bathurst 1000 while fellow competitor Morris spun, prompting an early‑stage shuffle of the field.
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Sports · 10 October 2026
After missing a ride in the Caulfield Guineas, Jamie Mott travelled to Sydney, took the mount on Attrition and secured a rich breakthrough win.
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Sports · 10 October 2026
Baz Attrill has attended every Bathurst 1000 for half a century, and organisers have marked the milestone by erecting Smarty’s Circus on top of Mount Panorama, the race’s starting point.
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