Business

Business · 28 September 2026

Digital Ad Titans Ignite Vape Black Market, Leaving Sydney’s Nightlife in Smoldering Chaos

Vera Chen, Sydney desk

When TikTok and Meta rolled out hundreds of illegal vaping ads, market participants inadvertently stoked a black‑market blaze that’s now turning alleyways into ash pits across Australia.

Business · 28 September 2026

Graduate Diploma of Management on the Brink: Private Colleges Offer Last‑Minute Discounts as ‘Shonk’ Students Await Deregistration

Vera Chen, Sydney desk

With the federal government set to remove the Graduate Diploma of Management from the register in October, private institutions are offering steep last‑minute discounts to lure students, sparking speculation that the p…

Business · 28 September 2026

EV Range Rumble: Market Participants Collide Over Kilometre Conundrum

Vera Chen, Sydney desk

A satirical look at the frenzy among EV owners, battery makers, and charging networks as they debate the most absurd ways to stretch kilometres, proving that even the future of transport can be a comedy of errors.

Business · 28 September 2026

Skeptics Warn AI Firms Could Unleash Unseen 'Bionic Pandemics'

Vera Chen, Sydney desk

When AI labs claim their generative models could help craft pathogens, market participants scramble to adjust risk premiums, while regulators wonder if a new 'lab‑tech' sector is emerging.

Business · 28 September 2026

South Australia’s 10‑Year‑Old Blackout Still Lights the Debate, Not the City

Vera Chen, Sydney desk

A decade after the statewide blackout that left SA in darkness, the energy debate remains as bright as ever, with market participants arguing over the future of power generation.

Business · 28 September 2026

Four‑Year Flood Repair Queue Turns Sydney Suburbs Into a Wall Street Waiting List

Vera Chen, Sydney desk

A chronic tradie shortage has stretched post‑flood repairs into a four‑year backlog, leaving homeowners in a limbo that feels less like a crisis and more like a market in freefall.

Business · 28 September 2026

Coal Plants Face ‘Pay‑to‑Pollute’ Bill That Might Turn Them into Solar‑Powered Museums

Vera Chen, Sydney desk

A new bill aims to make Australia’s coal power stations pay for their emissions, forcing them to close sooner or retrofit with greener tech – a move that market participants are scrambling to juggle.

Business · 28 September 2026

Bots Boast Tax‑Cutting Brilliance – Market Participants Urge Caution

Vera Chen, Sydney desk

When a Sydney start‑up claims its AI assistant can dodge the dreaded ‘lazy tax’, market participants scramble to decide whether to applaud or alarm. The satire explores the fine line between innovation and regulato…

Business · 28 September 2026

Gold Fields Eyes Northern Star: A South African Takeover That Could Turn Sydney’s Gold Rush Into a South‑African Snack

Vera Chen, Sydney desk

South Africa’s Gold Fields has turned its sights on Australia’s largest gold miner, Northern Star, sparking a speculative frenzy among market participants and leaving Australian investors wondering if the next headli…