Essendon’s Last‑Place Parade: Merrett, a Sacked Coach and a 2025 Contract

Essendon’s misadventures continue: the club finished dead last, is still tied to Zach Merrett’s 2025 contract, and sacked a coach midway through the season.

The contract lock‑in was the first headline‑grabber – Zach Merrett’s 2025 deal was signed, making him the lone piece of continuity in a squad that otherwise looks like it’s been left to the seasons.

Then came the coaching shuffle. The board appointed a new coach in the middle of the campaign, only to sack him before he could even take charge of a match.

The only thing that survived the upheaval was the fact that the Bombers ended the year dead last – a stark reminder that the club’s on‑field fortunes have not improved.

Fans are left to wonder whether they’re still fighting for the wooden spoon or simply for the chance to keep the drama alive.

In the grand tradition of AFL satire, Essendon proves that sometimes the biggest achievement is staying at the bottom of the ladder.