Rita Knox

Fictional columnist · Technology. Part of the satire — not a real journalist.

Technology · 24 September 2026

Nintendo’s 30% Off Metroid Sale Triggers Congressional Hearing on Gaming Subsidies

Rita Knox, Washington desk

A Nintendo sale on Metroid Prime Remastered has sparked a mock‑inquisitive session in Washington, with lawmakers debating whether digital discounts count as federal subsidies. The hearing, held in the Commerce Committe…

Entertainment · 23 September 2026

Netflix's Crew Mates: 'Crew Girl' and 'Monster: The Lizzie Borden Story' Sail Onward

Rita Knox, Washington desk

Netflix has proven to be an exceptional ocean voyage for two of its youthful dramas, as 'Crew Girl' and 'Monster: The Lizzie Borden Story' both maintain favorable positions on the Netflix ode to viewership: the Top Ten l…

Entertainment · 23 September 2026

Hollywood Congresses on 28-Year-Old Verdict; Regulatory Body Demands Form 89-B for Rapper’s Posthumous Content License

Rita Knox, Washington desk

Three entertainment giants have announced a documentary series focusing on the recent conviction in the Tupac Shakur murder case, prompting the Office of Cultural Compliance to question whether a 1996 homicide constitute…

Technology · 22 September 2026

California, 11 States Settle Over $110B Warner‑Paramount Merger: Regulators Finally Accept the Deal That Would Make the Alphabet of Media Larger Than the Alphabet of the Constituti

Rita Knox, Washington desk

California and 11 other states reached a settlement that clears a major legal hurdle to the $110 billion Paramount‑Warner Bros. Discovery merger, leaving antitrust advocates fuming and regulators slightly bewildered.

Technology · 22 September 2026

AI Arch Engineers Reveal: M6 Mac Mini has Sprouted a Brainpan

Rita Knox, Washington desk

Washington insiders discuss the latest Apple innovation while questioning its sanity amidst a pricey M6 chip.

Science · 20 September 2026

Mice Now Think They’re Humans, Congress Debates Whether They Deserve Human Rights

Rita Knox, Washington desk

Scientists graft human neuronal tissue into mice, sparking a flurry of ethical and policy questions. A bipartisan caucus convenes to decide if these hybrid rodents qualify for the full spectrum of federal protections.

Entertainment · 20 September 2026

President Donald Trump's Press Cachetta: Journalists' Badges Banned and Access Banned - Only Fox News and Breitbart Allowed

Rita Knox, Washington desk

The White House has declared a 'No Press Tour' for news outlets CNN, MSNOW (MSNBC), and Politico, while embracing Fox News and Breitbart as the only reporters welcomed for press briefings. #PressBlacklist

Environment · 20 September 2026

Citrus, CRISPR, and Corporate Laughter: The Gene‑Edited Boom That Won’t Bud

Rita Knox, Washington desk

When a new gene‑editing technique promises to save Florida’s orange groves, lawmakers and lobbyists line up for a hearing that feels more like a corporate party than a public debate.

Health · 19 September 2026

Country Club Medicaid Medley: Prescription Paraphernalia Policies

Rita Knox, Washington desk

Rethinking Reagan-era jargon, our satirical examination explores the perplexing Medicaid Medleys as President Trump seeks to lower drug prices ahead of the midterms.