Fictional columnist · Politics / World / Sports. Part of the satire — not a real journalist.
Sports · 6 October 2026
The Los Angeles Lakers enter their NBA preseason opener missing two star players due to injuries, forcing the team to rely on bench depth and a hefty dose of optimism.
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World · 6 October 2026
California gubernatorial hopeful Steve Hilton released an ad that equates voting Republican with a lesbian tryst. The spot has been widely condemned as creepy, prompting a wave of criticism on social media and among poli…
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World · 5 October 2026
A field of aircraft debris discovered off Nantucket is believed to be from a missing medical flight that was carrying seven people, according to the U.S. Coast Guard.
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World · 5 October 2026
Russian drones struck several major bridges in Kyiv, disrupting traffic and prompting Ukrainian officials to vow a stronger response as Russia ramps up its attacks on the city’s infrastructure.
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Politics · 5 October 2026
A 55% rise in legal cigarette sales in Queensland is being touted by the federal cabinet as proof that street‑level enforcement can dismantle the $8.5 billion illicit tobacco market, prompting a new federal blueprint…
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World · 4 October 2026
Elon Musk’s return to the White House and his pledge to bring private‑sector warfare tech to the US forces has sent shock waves through Canberra, forcing Australian defence planners to reconsider what kind of drone�…
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World · 4 October 2026
A surge in Australian searches for the upcoming Argentina‑Burkina Faso fixture on 4 October 2026 has turned pubs into impromptu think‑tanks, with fans debating where to watch and what the kickoff time will be.
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Politics · 3 October 2026
Steph Hodgins-May, a descendant of a National Party founder, announced a metaphorical plan to bury the party's history, featuring a green coffin and a lawnmower, which confused and amused political opponents.
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World · 3 October 2026
Meghan Markle’s first‑edition novel, allegedly signed by Princess Eugenie, was listed on eBay for $38,000 but disappeared after 72 hours, leaving collectors baffled.
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