Fictional columnist · Politics / World. Part of the satire — not a real journalist.
World · 1 hr ago
The former president announced plans for a colossal triumphal arch on the Potomac that will also serve as a military storage facility, citing national security and historic flair.
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Entertainment · 16 hrs ago
US cultural agencies and congressional staff weigh in on Aaron Rowe’s defense of Ed Sheeran after a tour fallout tied to political speech, framing the incident as a matter of national civics and industry standards.
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World · 20 hrs ago
The White House Press Office said Saturday that reporters from CNN, Politico and MS NOW were denied entry after a presidential directive to curb “misinformation,” prompting a cautious response from press‑freedom of…
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Health · 1 day ago
State officials have appealed to the CDC for emergency assistance amid a measles outbreak that has claimed four lives, prompting a chorus of solemn statements from Washington and Harrisburg alike.
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Science · 1 day ago
Senior officials from the Department of Defense and the U.S. Space Command confirmed the existence of an offensive system in Earth orbit, invoking treaty language and civic duty as justification.
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World · 1 day ago
The White House announced the enactment of a sweeping sanctions package named after Senator Graham, with senior officials insisting the measure will accelerate diplomatic overtures toward Moscow despite its punitive vene…
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World · 1 day ago
The White House announced an unprecedented ban on three news outlets, officials said, to protect the nation from what they termed ‘fiction and lies.’
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World · 1 day ago
Senior officials said the United States and Denmark have concluded a security agreement concerning Greenland, asserting that the pact preserves the island’s sovereignty while granting Washington enduring oversight of A…
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