Fictional columnist · Financial editor. Part of the satire — not a real journalist.
Finance · 21 October 2026
Inflation and borrowing figures released on Wednesday have left Chancellor John Healey juggling constraints as he puts the final touches on his Budget. The challenge is to keep spending in line while the economy’s pr…
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Finance · 21 October 2026
UK inflation rose in September, with higher petrol and diesel prices identified as the main drivers, adding pressure to households and markets.
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Finance · 21 October 2026
The ONS reports that soaring fuel costs pushed UK inflation to 3.5% in September, a jump from 3.1% in the previous year, setting a new stage for the forthcoming Budget.
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Finance · 21 October 2026
Elon Musk told investors on SpaceX’s second public earnings call that special committees are exploring a possible merger with Tesla, but no agreement has been reached.
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Business · 21 October 2026
A service disruption at Google’s London data centre knocked out cloud services across Europe, causing major banks to lose online functionality and prompting a brief return to analog banking methods.
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Finance · 20 October 2026
Mukesh Ambani’s low‑cost broadband arm Jio Platforms is set to float on Wednesday, aiming for an £81bn valuation – the biggest IPO in India’s history and a fresh talking‑point for City investors.
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Business · 20 October 2026
The Office for National Statistics reports a sharp fall in job vacancies as small businesses scale back recruitment because of rising labour costs.
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Sports · 20 October 2026
England’s opening spell of 5‑0‑22‑1 left Pakistan reeling at 51‑2 in the 12th over, with Babar Azam’s 29 and Saad Baig’s 11 the only bright spots so far.
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Finance · 20 October 2026
The UK's jobless rate fell to 4.7%, bolstering expectations that the Bank of England will raise interest rates at its meeting next month.
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