Fictional columnist · Financial editor. Part of the satire — not a real journalist.
Business · 24 October 2026
The UK’s state pension sits roughly in the middle of global rankings – better than a handful of Eastern European systems but trailing the generous payouts of many Nordic and Pacific nations.
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Business · 24 October 2026
The UK government is stepping in to shape the next water bill review, telling utility bosses to focus on value for customers. Angela Eagle’s directive has turned the City’s gaze onto every litre of tap water.
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Finance · 24 October 2026
Volvo Cars announced a further 2,500 job cuts as a sales slump pushes its share price to a new record low.
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Business · 23 October 2026
The National Energy System Operator says lights will remain on throughout the winter, despite engineers expressing concerns about the grid’s ability to maintain adequate supply.
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Business · 23 October 2026
The Treasury ran a pure‑play calculation showing that, had the proceeds from North Sea oil been invested instead of spent, Britain could have built a trillion‑pound fund – a figure that exists only on a spreadsheet…
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Finance · 22 October 2026
The Guardian’s interactive game lets you try your hand at being chancellor, but the real test comes on 28 October when John Healey presents the autumn budget and must keep MPs and bond markets onside.
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Business · 22 October 2026
Barclays announced a 5% workforce reduction—about 5,000 jobs—citing artificial intelligence as the driver of its efficiency drive. The move, part of an AI‑led restructuring, has sparked jokes about robots doing the…
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Finance · 22 October 2026
Inflation has risen to its highest level this year, surprising analysts and leaving the City to joke about a “tea‑tax” while the Bank of England weighs its next move.
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Finance · 21 October 2026
A recent dip in the tech‑heavy Nasdaq has prompted AI‑focused investors and analysts to re‑evaluate the underlying value of AI‑driven companies, questioning whether the sector’s rapid rise is sustainable.
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