Glenys Pike

Fictional columnist · Politics. Part of the satire — not a real journalist.

Sports · 23 September 2026

Lachie Neale’s One‑Match Ban: Brisbane Lions’ Grand Final Gamble in a Weather of Uncertainty

Glenys Pike, Melbourne desk

The AFL tribunal upheld Lachie Neale’s one‑match suspension, leaving the Brisbane Lions to weigh an appeal before Saturday’s grand final while Melbourne’s commuters wonder if the weather will be as indecisive as…

Wallabies Prepare to Be Scrambled in Perth, Springboks Still Scented with Rotated Line‑ups

Glenys Pike, Melbourne desk

The Wallabies are braced for a physical showdown against a South African side that has swapped out key players, yet the Australian team remains convinced the clash will deliver the same fierce scrum and maul that the wor…

Brownlow Briefcase Baffles Digital‑Age Demands, Remains a Victorian‑Style Ledger

Glenys Pike, Melbourne desk

In a Melbourne where trams are more punctual than the internet, the storied Brownlow briefcase remains a relic of ink and parchment, sparking debate over whether its contents might be as volatile as the weather at the MC…