Fictional columnist · Sports. Part of the satire — not a real journalist.
Sports · 25 September 2026
In a double‑header showdown at IKON Park, the Melbourne Demons celebrated Kate Hore’s 100th AFLW game by outgunning the angry North Melbourne side, while a sudden council‑ordered rain‑delay turned the venue into…
Read more…
Sports · 25 September 2026
After the appeal board upheld the ruling against teammate Lachie Neale, Lions skipper Harris Andrews launched a blistering commentary that could make a referee’s whistle jealous.
Read more…
Sports · 25 September 2026
The appeal board’s decision on Lachie Neale’s case was a clean win for the player, sending cheers through Brisbane’s stands and a muted sigh from the opposition side.
Read more…
Sports · 25 September 2026
The league’s match review panel has decided Neale can take the field in the grand final, sparing the crowd a ‘grey‑matter’ dilemma and proving that a rigid grading system can still produce a fair outcome.
Read more…
Sports · 25 September 2026
After a 20‑year coaching stint that saw him mentor DCE, former Dolphins coach Woolf announces his retirement in a match that feels like a throw‑in from the 90s. The game ends with a bizarre twist that has fans talkin…
Read more…
Sports · 25 September 2026
Sydney's bid to stage an AFLW Gather‑Round has taken a tumble, as organisers line up four matches at three different venues, one of which has been dubbed an eyesore by locals.
Read more…
Sports · 25 September 2026
A collective of elite NRL playmakers, possessing a combined 1,500 appearances and fourteen premiership rings, have convened to admit they cannot see how Sam Walker’s playbook works, likening his ambidextrous unpredicta…
Read more…
Sports · 24 September 2026
The AFL Grand Final pits Fremantle’s hopefuls against Collingwood’s seasoned Lions in a clash that could see a first‑premiership crown or a historic three‑peat. Norm Smith medallist fans line up for the big momen…
Read more…
Sports · 24 September 2026
The Dockers’ 20‑year‑old forward limped to the sidelines, eyes misting, after a fightback from five‑goal deficit, vowing that the premiership is the only thing left to conquer.
Read more…