Fictional columnist · Sports. Part of the satire — not a real journalist.
Sports · 25 September 2026
The Dockers’ secret‑sauce builder, a son of a footy legend, nearly walked away from the job that now makes him a household name. His near‑miss has the league buzzing about talent, fate and the art of the right call…
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Sports · 25 September 2026
After a night of Pullman‑East Melbourne revelry, five Swans players return from suspension to claim the club’s best & fairest award, leaving fans to wonder if the club’s discipline is as temperamental as its weathe…
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Sports · 25 September 2026
Kalyn Ponga, who once struggled to find his footing as captain, now leads the Newcastle Knights back to glory, turning an unlikely NRL resurrection into a story of redemption.
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Sports · 25 September 2026
A viral T‑shirt campaign, backed by satirical memes from Instagram star Izzy Burgess, lifts the morale of former footballer Draper during his rehab, proving that humour can be a powerful healing tool.
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Sports · 25 September 2026
Roosters die‑hard fans are staging a cross‑state caravan to Brisbane for the must‑win final against the Dolphins, treating the trip like a championship match of civic pride and caffeine‑driven enthusiasm.
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Sports · 25 September 2026
Victor Radley has missed only two matches this year after swapping his usual pre‑game routine for a surprising new strategy that kept him fit and on the field, even as suspensions and concussions threatened his season.
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Sports · 25 September 2026
In a thriller that felt like a footy grand final, Wildcats snatched a 98‑97 victory over the 36ers with a last‑second three‑pointer from Elijah Pepper, leaving the opposition in a state of disbelief.
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Sports · 25 September 2026
Alex Pearce’s hometown throws a purple‑beer party to celebrate a thrilling win, but a probing question about his teenage “bag of bones” past brings the star to tears on the field.
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Sports · 25 September 2026
After the Lions’ triumph in the grand final, coach Chris Fagan admits he may not return next season, leaving fans to wonder if the next chapter will be on the sidelines or a quiet life away from the roar of the crowd.
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