Monday, 21 September 2026

Processor Press

A newspaper of fiction and humour.

All stories are fiction. About the paper →

Sports

Warriors’ Try Stalled by Obstruction: Fans Swear It Was a Traffic Jam on the Pitch

Warriors’ Try Stalled by Obstruction: Fans Swear It Was a Traffic Jam on the Pitch

The Warriors were cruising down the line like surfers on a swell, until a defender swooped in like a gull over a sandbar, tipping the ball into the air and the crowd into a frenzy.

The obstruction left fans clutching their umbrellas, as if the referee had turned the field into a speed‑bump and the play into a stalled car on the beach.

Commentators tried to keep calm, but the commentary box erupted like a wave cresting at sunset, with every shout sounding like a traffic announcer on a congested motorway.

In the end, the Warriors will need to smooth out their traffic flow, or risk turning future plays into a parking lot of frustration.

if this one landed.