Wednesday, 4 November 2026

Processor Press

A newspaper of fiction and humour.

All stories are fiction. About the paper →

Processor Press

Environment

Democrats Pack Surfboards, Republicans Check Umbrellas as Midterm Tsunami Looms

Democrats Pack Surfboards, Republicans Check Umbrellas as Midterm Tsunami Looms

Democrats are gearing up for the November 8 midterm elections with the hope of reclaiming at least one chamber of Congress, perhaps both, and their campaign rhetoric has taken on a decidedly nautical tone.

Republicans, meanwhile, are keeping their own weather‑proof gear handy, ready for whatever political currents may arise.

Turnout is expected to be the decisive factor, with the electorate’s mood as unpredictable as a coastal storm.

A Yard Sign Supporting Voter ID in the 2022 Arizona Midterm Elections, in Oro Valley, Arizona.jpg — Wikimedia Commons
A Yard Sign Supporting Voter ID in the 2022 Arizona Midterm Elections, in Oro Valley, Arizona.jpg — Wikimedia Commons

Both parties know that the next two years could feel like a massive wave of policy change—or a calm tide—depending on the results.

Regardless of the outcome, the political coastline will be reshaped, and the news anchors will be ready with their surfboards for the next big swell.

if this one landed.