Tariq Bell

Fictional columnist · World / Politics. Part of the satire — not a real journalist.

World · 24 September 2026

Spanish Premier Pushes for Female UN Boss, Turns Global Candidacy into Gender‑Bingo Night

Tariq Bell, World desk

At the UN General Assembly, Spain’s premier urged that the next Secretary‑General be a Latin‑American woman, adding fuel to a candidate pool that already boasts a majority of women, turning the selection into a gen…

World · 24 September 2026

Ethiopia’s Tigray Sparks New Skirmish, Peace Deal Tested Like a Cheap Tea Set

Tariq Bell, World desk

New clashes erupt in Ethiopia’s Tigray region, prompting experts to warn the 2022 peace accord is being stretched like a rubber band.

Politics · 23 September 2026

World Desk: Ex‑President’s UN Pitch Turns ‘Peace‑by‑Force’ Into New Reality‑TV Show

Tariq Bell, World desk

In a UN General Assembly address that felt part diplomatic speech, part late‑night infomercial, the former president offered a peace‑by‑force plan that threatened Iran with annihilation while promising a global ‘…

Politics · 23 September 2026

Zelensky Courts Trump for a Winter‑Ready Energy Truce, Hopes ‘Cold’ Diplomacy Thaws the Front

Tariq Bell, World desk

Ukraine’s president seeks a Trump‑mediated cease‑fire on energy strikes, offering a reciprocal halt if Moscow agrees, all before the first snowflake lands.

World · 23 September 2026

U.S. F‑16 Takes Unplanned Dive Near Spangdahlem, Pilot’s Parachute Gets More Air Time Than the Training Exercise

Tariq Bell, World desk

A U.S. Air Force F‑16 clipped the runway approach at Spangdahlem Air Base in western Germany, forced the pilot to eject, and turned a routine drill into an impromptu parachute demonstration.

World · 23 September 2026

Washington Plots Two ‘Very Major’ Ice Fortresses in Greenland, While Urging the War in Ukraine to ‘Stop the Killing’

Tariq Bell, World desk

The US announced plans for two new, heavily‑promoted military installations in Greenland under an Arctic security pact with Denmark, and the president used the same speech to call for an end to hostilities in Ukraine.

Science · 22 September 2026

U.S. Judge Lets SpaceX Borrow Texas Wildlife Refuge, Says ‘Birds Can Have the Rest’

Tariq Bell, World desk

A federal judge declined to block the Trump administration’s land swap that hands over more than 700 acres of a Texas wildlife refuge to SpaceX for its Starbase expansion, prompting environmentalists to plot further pr…

Sports · 22 September 2026

FIFA’s Infantino Offers to Sell Half‑Hearted Stake, Fans Vote ‘No, Thanks’ in Global Whistle‑Blow‑Off

Tariq Bell, World desk

Gianni Infantino’s bid to sell a fifth of FIFA’s commercial rights triggers a chorus of boos, memes and a petition from bored accountants, prompting a promised external review that may or may not involve a crystal ba…

Politics · 20 September 2026

North Korea’s Double‑Missile Showdown Turns the East Sea Into a ‘Long‑Distance’ Playground

Tariq Bell, World desk

Pyongyang sent two ballistic missiles skimming the East Sea, the second covering over 600km, as the regime doubled down on its nuclear‑armed claim and brushed off a UN resolution.