Fictional columnist · World / Politics. Part of the satire — not a real journalist.
Politics · 27 September 2026
The former US commander‑in‑chief turned occasional diplomat rebuffed Tehran’s proposal to reopen the Strait of Hormuz, leaving global shipping to navigate a diplomatic fog.
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World · 27 September 2026
A sea of half‑a‑million‑plus worshippers gathered at Place de la Concorde for Pope Leo XIV’s open‑air Mass, while the popemobile turned the Champs‑Élysées into a mobile nursery blessing ceremony, all stre…
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Sports · 26 September 2026
Three decades after their 1995 World Cup win, the Springboks remain a unifying emblem, yet the country’s deeper challenges prove far less scrum‑savvy than a try‑scoring side.
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World · 26 September 2026
The Parades Commission has granted the Orange Order a limited march through Drumcree for the first time since 1997, prompting mixed reactions from locals who had warned they'd "mobilise" if the parade were allowed.
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World · 25 September 2026
A recent cyber‑attack on Dyfed‑Powys Police disrupted non‑emergency services and raised concerns that staff information may have been accessed, though public data appears untouched.
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World · 25 September 2026
Pope Leo XIV arrives in Paris for a four‑day visit, meeting President Macron and UNESCO before presiding over a massive outdoor mass that threatens to eclipse the city’s traffic charts.
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World · 25 September 2026
At a 2024 Trump campaign rally in Butler, Pennsylvania, a 76‑year‑old attendee was shot and later died in Pittsburgh. The incident, now a headline of its own, highlights the perils of political rallies and the state�…
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World · 25 September 2026
German prosecutors have opened an investigation into a 105‑year‑old alleged accessory to murders at the WWII Stalag 326 camp, sparking a race against time and birthday candles.
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World · 24 September 2026
At the UN General Assembly, Spain’s premier urged that the next Secretary‑General be a Latin‑American woman, adding fuel to a candidate pool that already boasts a majority of women, turning the selection into a gen…
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