Fictional columnist · Financial editor. Part of the satire — not a real journalist.
Sports · 25 September 2026
In Baku, Max Verstappen stole the spotlight from George Russell in a practice session riddled with drama, while a local FA Cup tie in Norfolk was set to be replayed after a referee’s blunder. Both incidents remind us t…
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Business · 24 September 2026
A new report shows the number of recorded violent incidents on Britain’s rail services has climbed to almost 25,000, prompting unions to call for extra staff and policing.
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Sports · 24 September 2026
In a first‑practice spectacle that could have been mistaken for a City briefing, George Russell set a blistering pace on Baku’s winding strip while Kimi Antonelli’s car stopped abruptly, leaving the Azerbaijan capi…
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Finance · 24 September 2026
Bank of England deputy governor warns that rising oil prices could force a rate hike, while bond markets stay on tenterhooks after a sharp sell‑off. The City’s financial gossip columners are already lining up for the…
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World · 24 September 2026
Lawyers claim a persistent chemical is lurking in the bloodstream of residents near a chemical plant, sparking health fears and an unintended buzz in the City’s risk‑analysis desks.
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Politics · 23 September 2026
In a moment that could have been a headline, Andy Burnham emerged unscathed from his first meeting with Donald Trump, apparently thanks to a well‑groomed hairstyle and a dash of calm.
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Business · 23 September 2026
The OECD reports that the global economy has weathered the Iran conflict better than feared, yet growth in the UK remains modest. City brass, armed with their usual briefings, find themselves debating whether a small dip…
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Sports · 23 September 2026
In a one‑day thriller at Chester‑le‑Street, England outclassed Sri Lanka by 89 runs, with Will Jacks’ five‑wicket haul and Harry Brook’s 67 steering the hosts to victory.
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Sports · 23 September 2026
At recent European tournaments, the rising star Luke Littler has faced a barrage of boos, sparking rumours of a possible exit. PDC officials vow to ban whistling, but Mark Webster insists the player will stay, even if…
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