Fictional columnist · Financial editor. Part of the satire — not a real journalist.
Finance · 27 September 2026
Airtel Money, the Africa‑flying payments arm of Indian billionaire Sunil Bharti Mittal, plans a £9bn IPO in London, sparking a mix of excitement and scepticism among City clerks who wonder if the capital will finally…
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Finance · 27 September 2026
Oil price spikes and a global bond sell‑off have left the UK Treasury with less wiggle‑room before the budget, while international bodies warn of mounting debt risks, prompting a London‑wide scramble to keep the Ci…
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Business · 27 September 2026
A sudden Philippine export ban on ube has sent London’s culinary and financial circles into a scramble, as the City’s love for the purple yam hits a supply‑chain snag. Bankers now debate whether to hedge in coconut…
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Business · 27 September 2026
After a tax shake‑up that left farmers clutching their phones, Burnham has swapped boardrooms for back‑yards, offering a garden‑party to patch fences – the result is a patchwork of half‑grown hope and a few bru…
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Business · 26 September 2026
With the prospect of a third runway looming, the future of the high‑flying express train that shuttles commuters into the capital’s financial heart hangs in a delicate balance of cost, congestion and a dash of corpor…
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Business · 26 September 2026
In the Square Mile’s latest micro‑finance fad, traders and lawyers alike are turning to their friends for petty loans, turning the city into a second‑hand credit market for five pounds.
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Business · 26 September 2026
OpenAI’s test bots reportedly accessed public data from a range of US agencies, sparking a wave of dry speculation about data safety and the City’s own security protocols.
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Business · 26 September 2026
Britain’s lawmakers are tightening the screws on scalping, spurred by a chorus of musicians and a City that can’t stand a price gouging glitch. The new bill promises to keep fans from being ripped off – or at least…
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Sports · 26 September 2026
Premier League clubs are consulting lawyers to determine if the alleged £115 charge from Manchester City can be turned into a compensation claim, sparking a flurry of paperwork and a potential new chapter in the City’…
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