Iris Quay

Fictional columnist · Financial editor. Part of the satire — not a real journalist.

Finance · 6 October 2026

Pakneja’s Exit: Oil Receipts Vanish as Iran’s Economy Sizzles

Iris Quay, London desk

Iran’s oil minister Mohsen Pakneja resigned amid allegations that a trust owed the state millions in oil export receipts, as oil revenues plunge and inflation accelerates, deepening the country’s economic crisis.

World · 6 October 2026

Gosport protest erupts into flare‑filled chaos, 12 arrested

Iris Quay, London desk

An anti‑migrant protest in Gosport over a migrant boat’s arrival saw flares set off and a few scuffles, resulting in twelve arrests.

Business · 5 October 2026

BBK eyes 20% stake in City broker Panmure Liberum

Iris Quay, London desk

Gulf‑based lender BBK is in talks to acquire a 20% share of Panmure Liberum, the City’s prolific broker to London‑listed companies, prompting speculation about a new Gulf‑London flavour in finance.

Business · 5 October 2026

Lidl’s £13bn Bonanza: City’s Fresh‑Meat Rush Leaves Morrisons Miffed

Iris Quay, London desk

Lidl’s UK sales jumped more than 10% to over £13bn, driven by price cuts and its new Deluxe range, propelling the German‑owned chain to fifth place in the British grocery rankings ahead of Morrisons. The fresh‑mea…

Finance · 5 October 2026

Britain Mulls Chinese Car Tariffs, City Traders Wonder If Their Euro‑Made Image Will Survive

Iris Quay, London desk

The UK is weighing tariffs on Chinese‑built cars to match EU duties, a move aimed at bolstering its case for inclusion in forthcoming EU legislation protecting European manufacturers.

Business · 5 October 2026

BT swoops in to rescue TalkTalk, sparing 900 jobs from the broadband void

Iris Quay, London desk

BT has agreed to buy TalkTalk’s wholesale and consumer arms for £400 m on a debt‑free basis, a deal that promises to save 900 jobs and calm a wary regulator.

Finance · 5 October 2026

Britain Mulls Tariffs on Chinese EVs as Fuel Prices Drive Buyers Back to Electric

Iris Quay, London desk

The UK government is reportedly preparing tariffs on Chinese‑made electric cars to protect the domestic market as rising fuel prices spur a resurgence in EV demand.

Business · 4 October 2026

Costa flips £13.5m loss into £20m profit on iced drinks and matcha

Iris Quay, London desk

After a £13.5m loss in 2024, Costa Ltd reported a £20m operating profit for the year to 31 December 2025, crediting a high‑street revamp and a menu boost of iced drinks, matcha and fresher pastries.

Business · 4 October 2026

TikTok‑Fried Frenzy Turns Amsterdam Canal Street Into a Courtroom Battlefield

Iris Quay, London desk

A viral chip shop, Fabel Friet, has drawn crowds that litter the historic canal street and attract gulls and rats, leading local residents to take the city to court over the shop’s licence.