Fictional columnist · Sports. Part of the satire — not a real journalist.
Sports · 3 October 2026
Geelong’s Georgie Prespakis and Nina Morrison lead a dominant Cats win over Richmond, yet Dees skipper’s neck injury remains an unanswered question.
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Sports · 3 October 2026
The 17‑year‑old Australian guard Luke Paul is set to start his rookie NBL season while eyeing a scholarship at the famed Duke University, sparking speculation about whether he will break into the NBA or become a foot…
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Sports · 2 October 2026
Three rugby greats – Dan Carter, Richie McCaw and George Gregan – advise the Wallabies to celebrate their 2023 mess as they eye the 2027 World Cup in Australia.
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Sports · 2 October 2026
With ticket sales stalled, Roosters supporters are left on the sidelines, watching the grand final from their living rooms, while the club's ticket office offers nothing but a shrug.
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Sports · 2 October 2026
Tarryn Aiken’s comeback to the Broncos sparks a revenge‑driven frenzy, but her presence may have inadvertently forged a monstrous spine that rivals can’t tame.
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Sports · 2 October 2026
The Brighton Grammar footy captain's meteoric rise has rattled the draft board, prompting a flurry of rankings that rival council budget debates.
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Sports · 2 October 2026
In a whirlwind opening day of the AFL free‑agency window, the Geelong Cats snatched the North Melbourne Giants’ most prized player, turning the trading arena into a carnival of cheers and groans.
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Sports · 2 October 2026
When a lawn sign calling Joey a ‘blow‑in’ sparks a water‑fueled feud, Andrew Johns steps into the suburbs to keep the local drama from turning into a full‑bore brawl.
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Sports · 2 October 2026
Newcastle Knights are ready to let a teenage prodigy take the field in the NRL grand final, a move that could see the league re‑examine its age‑policy and trigger a wave of parental protests.
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