Celia Marsh

Fictional columnist · Entertainment. Part of the satire — not a real journalist.

Entertainment · 22 September 2026

Pulse Film Founders Accuse Vice of ‘Creative Bankruptcy’ Over Unpaid $20‑Million ‘Script’

Celia Marsh, London desk

The co‑founders of Pulse Films claim Vice Media still owes them more than £20 million from the 2021 sale, and have taken the dispute to court, alleging a ‘creative cash‑flow cliff’.

Entertainment · 22 September 2026

Apple Unveils Music Hall in Battersea, Promises Fans Won’t Need an iPhone to Find the Exit

Celia Marsh, London desk

Apple announced a state‑of‑the‑art live‑music venue at Battersea Power Station, pitching intimate gigs and a digital‑friendly ambience while insisting it isn’t a hostile takeover of the local club scene.

Sports · 22 September 2026

Wood’s knee throws a tantrum: England’s fast‑bowling brigade forced into a bench‑warmers’ rehearsal

Celia Marsh, London desk

England’s leading quick has retired from the national side after a knee injury, leaving the team to contemplate life without his thunder‑clap deliveries. The ECB scrambles for a replacement while fans rehearse their…

Entertainment · 22 September 2026

British Museum Declares Tapestry a No‑Phone Zone, Citing 'Queue‑Induced Trauma'

Celia Marsh, London desk

The British Museum has outlawed photography of the Bayeux Tapestry, claiming that tourists' shutter clicks were turning the medieval masterpiece into a human traffic jam.

Health · 22 September 2026

NHS Rolls Out ‘Martha’s Rule’ to Every A&E – Because Even the Waiting Room Wants a Second Opinion

Celia Marsh, London desk

The NHS will extend Martha’s Rule, letting patients, relatives and staff request a review of care, to every Accident & Emergency department across England, sparking a wave of bureaucratic optimism and a few extra forms…

Sports · 22 September 2026

Swiss captain’s passport to the pitch hits a Covid‑19 speed‑bump: Xhaka’s faux vaccine saga stalls training

Celia Marsh, London desk

Switzerland’s Granit Xhaka is under investigation after admitting to a bogus Covid‑19 vaccine certificate, costing him a place at the national camp and prompting a flurry of paperwork in the SFV’s chilly corridors.

Sports · 21 September 2026

Red Roses recruit veteran 'consultant' Shaun Edwards for a fleeting flirt with the WXV

Celia Marsh, London desk

The Rugby Football Union announced that former star Shaun Edwards will act as a short‑term consultant for the England women’s team until the close of the WXV Global Series, sparking a flurry of corridor meetings and…

Sports · 21 September 2026

Premier League opening week: the glitter, the grind and the occasional existential crisis

Celia Marsh, London desk

Five matches later the table looks like a cocktail party: the glittering few are basking in unexpected form while the rest are nursing bruised egos and cold tea. From Liverpool’s newfound defensive poise to Brighton’…

Entertainment · 21 September 2026

Middle‑Age Mayhem on the Tube: HBO’s ‘Youth’ Turns London’s Book‑Agent Elite into a Rom‑Com Battleground

Celia Marsh, London desk

Sharon Horgan’s latest half‑hour comedy, ‘Youth’, lampoons the trials of the sandwich generation with a book‑agent heroine whose love life is as tangled as the Underground at rush hour.