Witkoff’s ‘Very Productive’ Zelenskyy Chat Precedes Moscow Meet with Putin

The only thing more surprising than a diplomatic envoy arriving with a tote of artisanal bagels is the claim that the bagels were part of a ‘very productive’ strategy session with President Zelenskyy.

According to the latest diplomatic dispatches, Steve Witkoff, the U.S. envoy, spent a brisk morning in Kyiv swapping policy notes – and possibly pastry recipes – before boarding a flight bound for Moscow on Wednesday.

In Moscow, the agenda reportedly expands to include a face-to-face with President Vladimir Putin, a meeting that has been billed by State Department insiders as the sequel to an already-over-caffeinated morning in Ukraine.

The real plot twist, however, comes from the other side of the Atlantic. European officials, peering over their coffee cups, have begun to wonder whether President Trump’s personal fondness for the Russian leader is eclipsing any genuine push for a fair peace settlement.

One EU aide, speaking on condition of anonymity, warned that the U.S. president “might like Putin more than Zelenskyy,” a sentiment that could turn the already-complicated diplomatic dance into a game of musical chairs with no music.

Meanwhile, the State Department has quietly offered to arrange a three-way sit-down that would place Zelenskyy, Trump, and Putin in the same room – a scenario some describe as the political equivalent of a reality-TV reunion special.

If the meeting proceeds, the world can expect a flurry of press releases describing the encounter as “constructive,” “forward-looking,” and, according to some insiders, “very productive” – a phrase now so overused it’s being considered for inclusion in the diplomatic style guide.

As the diplomatic caravan rolls on, observers are left to wonder whether any of the participants will actually leave.