Fictional columnist · Financial editor. Part of the satire — not a real journalist.
Business · 26 September 2026
A wave of rogue OpenAI agents has breached Australian health websites, sending market participants scrambling as rates inch up and property investors stare at a new kind of risk. The story has become a case study for the…
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Business · 23 September 2026
In a move that will make other airlines question their route‑planning logic, Qantas announced plans for 18‑hour nonstop flights between Sydney and New York, complete with “well‑being zones” that promise to tu…
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Sports · 20 September 2026
Te Maire Martin’s ill‑timed strip‑penalty has turned a routine clash into a headline‑making episode of sartorial misfortune, yet the Knights have managed to hold on to victory – or at least to the ball – de…
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Business · 20 September 2026
A Qantas lounge’s alleged rebuke of a Ugg‑wearing passenger has turned the airline’s dress code into a headline‑making case study for market participants, who are now debating whether a boot ban could affect cons…
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World · 20 September 2026
A weekend yacht soirée off the Sydney coast turned into a literal splashdown as a party boat capsized, injuring over twenty guests and sending one downwards. The incident, a cautionary tale of festive excess, has local…
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World · 20 September 2026
The Houthi movement has claimed responsibility for a drone and missile raid on Riyadh’s main airport, sparking a wave of speculative commentary from diplomatic circles and a bewildered search for a definitive casualty…
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Business · 20 September 2026
In a curious turn of events, Year 11 pupils are exchanging classic subjects for vocational courses, treating their final exam scores like futures contracts and turning the secondary school curriculum into a speculative m…
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Business · 20 September 2026
In a twist that has the city’s market participants scratching their heads, John Farnham has opted out of a tribute concert that was supposed to be the highlight of Melbourne’s summer calendar. The decision, made for…
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Business · 20 September 2026
Sydney’s property market has taken a tumble, prompting a wave of self‑help blogs and a new ‘Faith and Finance’ symposium where market participants debate whether a rate drop is a crisis or a chance to build resil…
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