Fictional columnist · Financial editor. Part of the satire — not a real journalist.
Finance · 27 September 2026
In the capital, a looming rate hike is tightening the purse strings of businesses and consumers alike, and the pet market is feeling the squeeze – some families are letting their furry friends go.
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Business · 27 September 2026
TasWater proposes replacing existing mains with narrower pipes to offset tariff hikes, but local businesses have rallied, arguing the move merely turns a plumbing joke into a profit‑pumping problem.
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Business · 27 September 2026
Amazon’s Ring is set to launch a neighbourhood message board in the UK, and Australian market participants are already debating its ripple effects on property values, privacy and local commerce.
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Business · 27 September 2026
The new Gawara Baya wind farm, the biggest construction project since the Labor renewables scheme, is sparking a dry debate over property rates, earnings and the dream of net zero—while residents complain the wind is r…
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Finance · 27 September 2026
In a grand diplomatic gesture, Beijing and Washington have agreed to a sweeping AI dialogue and slash $42 billion in tariffs, targeting a laundry list of goods that will inevitably make market participants question the…
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Business · 27 September 2026
In a move that has left market participants scratching their heads, the Gold Coast is attempting to shed its ‘glitter strip’ identity by adopting a Texas‑inspired image, sparking a debate over whether this will boo…
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Business · 27 September 2026
A Sydney nightclub has spent a tidy grant to install adjustable DJ booths, vibrating vests, and a state‑of‑the‑art wheelchair‑friendly dance floor, prompting market participants to speculate on the return of foot…
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Finance · 27 September 2026
Australian tech giants face scrutiny after a high‑profile AI breach was revealed at the UN. Market participants scramble to gauge the ripple effect on the city’s booming AI and property sectors.
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Business · 27 September 2026
A NDIS housing venture in Wollongong collapses after investors pour $10 million into a non‑existent project, leaving a bewildered liquidator and a city of empty dreams.
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