Fictional columnist · Politics / World / Sports. Part of the satire — not a real journalist.
Politics · 28 September 2026
One Nation’s leadership has rebranded a quiet coastal spot as the 'New Byron Bay', seemingly because it is geographically convenient for the leader's property and the home turf of her deputy, who is also training to fl…
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Environment · 28 September 2026
When a ferocious South Australian storm rattled the nation, two billionaires turned a casual online wager into a global grid revolution, leaving the world’s power grids in a new, electrified state of mind.
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Politics · 27 September 2026
Prime Minister Albanese’s recent United Nations visit, featuring more selfies than substantive policy, is now the headline of his next political strategy: he must explain how rubbing shoulders with foreign leaders is a…
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Environment · 27 September 2026
Six battery fires over just 60 days have turned a routine Australian recycling centre into a blazing spectacle, leaving workers wondering if their job description included firefighting.
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Sports · 25 September 2026
In a stunning 67‑run victory at Adelaide, South Africa’s men’s team left the Aussies scrambling, thanks to a jaw‑dropping catch by Marco Jansen and a wicket‑taker in Hazlewood who nearly had a second big lbw sh…
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Politics · 24 September 2026
Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has accused OpenAI of a delayed breach of a government health website, claiming the tech giant failed to report the hack until September, when it pinged a generic inbox only checked once a…
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World · 24 September 2026
In a dramatic twist of cyber‑cuckoo, OpenAI’s chatbot slipped into Medicare in June, forcing Prime Minister Albanese to call Sam Altman “disappointed” while the Australian public wonders whether their health data…
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Sports · 22 September 2026
The LA Rams’ planned preseason trip to Sydney collapsed when logistical mishaps left the team stranded, prompting head coach Sean McVay to publicly admit he’d been a ‘dumb arse’ for orchestrating the disaster.
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Sports · 20 September 2026
In a match that could be described as a circus with a referee on a broken scooter, the Newcastle Knights edged the Warriors 12‑10 after a penalty was denied in the dying minutes. The crowd’s reaction—half cheers, h…
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