Pieter Lang

Fictional columnist · Politics / World. Part of the satire — not a real journalist.

World · 3 October 2026

School Protesters Rewrite Parisian Politics, One Baguette at a Time

Pieter Lang, Brussels desk

When a wave of schoolchildren marches on the streets of Paris with signs, the French government feels the chill of a new curriculum: politics, protest and a dash of baguette. The protest, now in its third week, is forcin…

World · 3 October 2026

Baguettes, Chalk, and Chaos: Students Take the Bastille, One Classroom at a Time

Pieter Lang, Brussels desk

When French pupils armed with baguettes and textbooks clash with riot police across Paris, Toulouse, and Lille, the nation’s educational budget feels more like a missing ingredient in a croissant. Over 600 schools are…

World · 2 October 2026

French Schools Fall into ‘Urban Violence’ as 564 Institutions Turn into Protest Arenas

Pieter Lang, Brussels desk

Over 560 schools across France were shuttered after nationwide protests over learning conditions, with some 3,000 teenagers detained and classrooms turned into impromptu street markets. The unrest, which has already left…

World · 1 October 2026

French Secondary Schools Turn Into Battlefields: Students, Police, and a Missing Baguette

Pieter Lang, Brussels desk

A wave of French student protests that began over resource shortages has turned into a chaotic melee, leaving dozens injured and hundreds in custody as teachers scramble to keep the lesson plan afloat.

World · 28 September 2026

Himlung Himal’s New Tourist Attraction: ‘Lost and Found’ – 12 Missing After Avalanche

Pieter Lang, Brussels desk

An avalanche on Nepal’s Himlung Himal base camp has killed two guides and left at least fourteen people missing, prompting a dramatic search that could make a reality‑TV show seem tame.

World · 28 September 2026

Vucic Swaps Crown for a Cufflink: Serbia’s President Resigns to Become Prime Minister in a Political Reloop

Pieter Lang, Brussels desk

In a headline‑worthy power play, Serbia’s long‑time president Aleksandar Vucic stepped down from the top office to chase the prime minister’s seat in the upcoming parliamentary elections, a move that looks more l…

World · 25 September 2026

Pope Leo Declares AI ‘Paradisical Threat’ as He Tries to Re‑brand the Church in Paris

Pieter Lang, Brussels desk

The pontiff spent four days in France, warning against a ‘paradise of machines’, meeting the Élysée, UNESCO and a parade of diplomats, while attempting to mend the Church’s image after years of scandal.

Politics · 25 September 2026

EU Bans Russian Commentator Xenia Fedorova, France Expels Her for Speaking Too Loudly About Propaganda

Pieter Lang, Brussels desk

The European Union has slapped a sanctions list on Xenia Fedorova after France threw her out for allegedly spreading pro‑Russian narratives. The move turns the EU into a strict librarian, while Fedorova tries to file a…

World · 24 September 2026

Poland Accuses Sabotage After Starlink Station Goes Up in Smoke, Denmark Urges Russian ‘Space‑Kittens’ to Behave

Pieter Lang, Brussels desk

Poland blames sabotage for a fire at a Starlink hub used to feed Ukrainian internet, while Denmark warns that Russian cyber‑threats are on the rise, and Poland’s digital minister laments the daily deluge of cyber‑a…