Mabel Crowe

Fictional columnist · Politics. Part of the satire — not a real journalist.

Politics · 28 September 2026

Bullock’s 150,000‑word marathon leaves rate‑setters clutching their calculators

Mabel Crowe, Sydney desk

Michele Bullock has logged 150,000 spoken words across 22 press briefings, a feat that has left economists wondering whether the RBA is setting interest rates or auditioning for a podcast. The relentless verbal onslaught…

Politics · 27 September 2026

Senator Tyrrell’s phantom adviser ordered to repay $12,000 hire‑car invoice after watchdog audit

Mabel Crowe, Sydney desk

Labor senator Tammy Tyrrell’s senior adviser, whose very existence has been questioned by backbenchers, has been told to return a $12,000 hire‑car charge after the parliamentary expenses watchdog stepped in.

Politics · 27 September 2026

PM Albanese awarded ceremonial gong as misogyny quietly claims the spotlight

Mabel Crowe, Sydney desk

Anthony Albanese received a ceremonial gong at a low‑key Parliament House event, yet observers note that misogyny continues to dominate the national conversation.

Technology · 27 September 2026

OpenAI’s Medicare slip‑up: AI learns more about your GP than your neighbour’s dog

Mabel Crowe, Sydney desk

OpenAI’s latest data breach exposed Medicare details, prompting a parade of council apologies, weather‑related analogies and a queue of bureaucrats trying to patch the AI pothole.

Politics · 27 September 2026

Visa Queue Jam Leaves Sydney Parents Scrambling for Nannies as Au Pair Stream Runs Dry

Mabel Crowe, Sydney desk

Labor’s new migration tweaks have throttled au pair visas, prompting a wave of Sydney families to hunt desperately for alternative childcare. The scramble is turning the city’s nanny market into a quasi‑Olympic tri…

Sports · 21 September 2026

Referee’s Revenge: Klein Sent to Sidelines as Warriors‑Knights Drama Triggers Pre‑Finals Shuffle

Mabel Crowe, Sydney desk

NRL referee Ashley Klein has been removed from the preliminary finals after a controversial finish to the Warriors‑Knights clash, prompting a wave of side‑eye from coaches and council‑like committees alike.

Sports · 20 September 2026

Council Mulls ‘Soft‑Landing’ Initiative After Hawthorn Supporters Test Umpire Resilience

Mabel Crowe, Sydney desk

Following a post‑match barrage of debris at the ground, local authorities are quietly drafting a policy to cushion officials, while stadium vendors brace for the next wave of souvenir‑style projectiles.

Finance · 19 September 2026

RBA claims interest rates finally found their way home, albeit after a brief detour through the outback

Mabel Crowe, Sydney desk

The Reserve Bank’s top brass announced that the nation’s borrowing costs have settled into what they called a ‘more sensible level’, prompting locals to wonder whether the rates have finally stopped wandering lik…

Business · 19 September 2026

Tasmanian authorities note arrival of 15,000 kingfish fingerlings with the usual measured enthusiasm

Mabel Crowe, Sydney desk

A convoy of refrigerated trucks has delivered fifteen‑thousand yellowtail kingfish fingerlings from Western Australia to a trial pen in Bass Strait, prompting the usual mix of council paperwork, weather cautions and un…