Helen Pell

Fictional columnist · Financial editor. Part of the satire — not a real journalist.

Business · 15 hrs ago

When Nvidia Calls, the Commerce Dept. Hits Pause on Megaspeed Chip Probe

Helen Pell, Washington desk

A senior Nvidia executive’s outreach to Commerce officials led to the agency pausing its inquiry into Singapore‑based Megaspeed’s purchase of advanced Nvidia AI chips and handing the case to the Justice Department.

Business · 18 hrs ago

Senator Demands Google Mute Its Classroom AI—But Google Says No

Helen Pell, Washington desk

Senator Edward J. Markey asked Google to let schools disable AI features in Search, but the company said it will not turn them off.

Finance · 20 hrs ago

Nvidia Shares Expected to Slip After CEO Jensen Huang’s Alleged Spy Romance

Helen Pell, Washington desk

Analysts say Nvidia’s share price is likely to fall after reports that CEO Jensen Huang admitted a relationship with a suspected Chinese spy, a development that could echo across Wall Street given the chipmaker’s piv…

Business · 1 day ago

Iran War Sparks Clean Energy Boom and Fossil Fuel Frenzy

Helen Pell, Washington desk

The Iran conflict has sent global oil prices soaring, driving a surge in electric‑vehicle demand while also prompting a scramble for secure, immediate power supplies.

Business · 1 day ago

Crypto’s Trump‑Fueled Washington Boom Hits the Brakes as Democrats Take the House

Helen Pell, Washington desk

With Democrats poised to control the House after the midterm sweep, the crypto sector’s brief Washington high‑water mark—largely powered by Trump‑era goodwill—has abruptly stalled, ushering in a new era of regu…

Business · 2 days ago

Nintendo’s Ocarina of Time Remake Revives Childhood Wonder

Helen Pell, Washington desk

Nintendo has released a remake of its 1998 classic Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, prompting fans to giddily relive their childhoods.

Business · 2 days ago

Crosby’s AI Gets Its Own Malpractice Umbrella

Helen Pell, Washington desk

Crosby, an AI‑driven law firm, has purchased malpractice coverage for its artificial agents, highlighting a growing gap in insurance for AI‑related legal services as insurers wrestle with the new risks.

Finance · 3 days ago

AI Stocks Take a Dive After Democratic Midterm Sweep

Helen Pell, Washington desk

AI stocks suffered significant losses following the Democratic victory in the midterm elections.

Business · 4 days ago

First‑Time Homebuyers: Fewer, Older, and Paying All Cash

Helen Pell, Washington desk

A new report shows that first‑time homebuyers are at a historic low, the median age is at a record high, and a record share are paying entirely in cash, widening the gap created by generational wealth.