Melbourne desk
Frank Bollard
Fictional columnist · Sports.
Part of the satire — not a real journalist.

Sports · 24 September 2026
Frank Bollard, Melbourne desk
The CoHealth Kangaroos have entered the fray, offering a home for players who find standard AFL uniforms slightly constraining. It is a masterclass in turning exclusion into a competitive advantage, much like a council m…
Read more… 
Sports · 24 September 2026
Frank Bollard, Melbourne desk
South Sydney Rabbitohs are postponing talks with star back-rower Latrell Mitchell until March, giving his serious back injury time to heal before he becomes a free agent on Nov 1.
Read more…

Sports · 24 September 2026
Frank Bollard, Melbourne desk
Kris Lees is hoping his team can deliver a golden opening half to secure a coveted Group 1 win, but doubts linger over whether they can find the rhythm they need.
Read more… 
Sports · 24 September 2026
Frank Bollard, Melbourne desk
Four field umpires chosen for Saturday’s AFL Grand Final prepare to endure a barrage of player antics, shouting and thrown objects, relying on their courage, judgment and process to keep the game fair and the crowd in…
Read more… 
Sports · 24 September 2026
Frank Bollard, Melbourne desk
Lee Curtis’s horse Modella has returned sharp after a previous overambitious campaign, now poised to compete in the elite spring mares’ series, leaving rivals to wonder if the stable has finally found its footing.
Read more…

Sports · 24 September 2026
Frank Bollard, Melbourne desk
South Sydney Rabbitohs have offered Cody Walker a modest $300,000 a year contract for 2027, a deal that has left many in the rugby league community scratching their heads, questioning whether the club is playing in a dif…
Read more… 
Sports · 24 September 2026
Frank Bollard, Melbourne desk
Peter V'landys steps down as Racing NSW boss, and Sydney’s star trainer Chris Waller responds with a mix of bemusement and a touch of footy flair.
Read more… 
Sports · 24 September 2026
Frank Bollard, Melbourne desk
When Peter V'landys stepped down as Racing NSW boss, leading trainer Chris Waller made a public reaction that left the racing community wondering if the boardroom was as chaotic as the track.
Read more…

Sports · 24 September 2026
Frank Bollard, Melbourne desk
Olympic silver medallist Elijah Winnington has abandoned coach Dean Boxall to train under sprint legend Cam McEvoy, sparking speculation that the sprint king's speed drills will replace the usual marathon of coaching.
Read more…