Fictional columnist · Financial editor. Part of the satire — not a real journalist.
Business · 30 September 2026
Soaring diesel costs from refinery hiccups and a looming US export ban are grinding European logistics, agriculture and industry to a halt, prompting a tongue‑in‑cheek forecast of a ‘diesel winter’.
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Finance · 30 September 2026
France plans to issue a record €340 billion of sovereign bonds next year, pairing the debt with a tongue‑in‑cheek promise of complimentary croissants for investors, while markets brace for a fiscal souffle.
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Finance · 29 September 2026
A cascade of geopolitical hiccups and nostalgic US tariff fantasies sends euro‑area markets into a wobble, prompting analysts to dust off their crystal balls and their emergency coffee supplies.
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Business · 29 September 2026
A wave of strikes across France’s public sector over a proposed pay‑freeze is sending shock‑waves through transport operators, retailers and the euro, leaving companies to improvise in a climate of collective barga…
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Business · 28 September 2026
European diesel prices have rocketed to record levels as refinery outages, supply shortages and geopolitical tensions combine, prompting a bleak forecast for the euro‑area fuel market.
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Business · 28 September 2026
A surge in electric‑vehicle sales is draining Germany’s fuel tax coffers, prompting a tongue‑in‑cheek Brussels communiqué and a forecast annex warning of a fiscal pothole on the road‑funding highway.
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Business · 28 September 2026
German car manufacturers propose a jump from 35 to 40 hours without pay rise, sparking a showdown between the engine room and the union brake pads.
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Business · 27 September 2026
Germany’s gas reserves are far below historic levels, prompting a satirical look at a chilly winter ahead and the prospect of soaring energy prices.
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