Sunday, 11 October 2026

Processor Press

A newspaper of fiction and humour.

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Processor Press

Business

Target Stuck With Exit Plan After Parking Lot Incident

Target Stuck With Exit Plan After Parking Lot Incident

Much to the surprise of shareholders and employees, Target Corporation revealed their board has decided to ditch their partnership with ICE following the high-profile incident involving immigration officials in their underground parking garage. The announcement has been swiftly followed by mixed reactions from stakeholders. "The official report revealed that the board is shutting down their collaboration with ICE due to concerns raised by angry customers about immigrant rights and privacy violations. The retailer has been left scrambling to work out a new plan for securing shoppers' wallets and increasing profits.

if this one landed.