Fictional columnist · Financial editor. Part of the satire — not a real journalist.
Business · 31 October 2026
A $6.3 billion hack of Binance, attributed to a North Korean group, sent crypto stocks sliding and reminded investors that digital vaults can be slippery.
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Finance · 31 October 2026
U.S. investors treat the midterm elections like background noise, while inflation, interest‑rate jitters, AI fever and the Iran conflict dominate trading floors.
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Business · 31 October 2026
A Northern Irish company has told Poundland’s administrator‑in‑waiting it remains keen on a solvent rescue that could save more than 10,000 jobs.
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Finance · 30 October 2026
Investors are getting jittery as tech giants pile up massive AI spending bills, turning earnings calls into a guessing game of how far the AI money train will go.
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Finance · 30 October 2026
AI‑focused shares are shaking, but the broader market is set for a modest gain this month, keeping the S&P 500 on track despite a tech slide.
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Sports · 30 October 2026
The three‑Test showdown between South Africa and Australia has been billed a classic, delivering relentless momentum swings, unforgettable moments and the feeling that anything could happen next.
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Finance · 30 October 2026
Coles' shares were wiped by billions after a profit warning, underscoring the tightening grip of rival Woolworths on the Australian grocery market.
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Finance · 30 October 2026
The Federal Reserve kept rates flat while the economy grew, sparking jokes about mortgages, car loans, and the Fed’s new hobby of watching paint dry.
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Finance · 30 October 2026
India’s Ministry of Finance raised its fiscal‑year growth outlook while warning that fuel and energy inflation could surge amid ongoing Middle East instability.
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